Prompts
Week 1
1
I am a middle child (given)
2
I am a design and merchandising student (chosen)
3
I am an artist (chosen)
4
I am a music lover (chosen)
5
I am in a sorority (chosen)
6
I am American (given)
7
I am a Philadelphian (given)
8
I am a brunette (given)
9
I am blue-eyed (given)
10 I
am creative (chosen)
11 I
am a foodie (chosen)
12 I
am a fashion lover (chosen)
13 I
am a shopaholic (chosen)
14 I
am catholic (chosen)
15 I
am a good cook (chosen)
16 I
am a Drexel student (chosen)
17 I
am a runner (chosen)
18 I
am hardworking (chosen)
19 I
am an older sister (given)
20 I
am a perfectionist (undesired)
21 I
am a cancer (given)
22 I
am Italian (given)
Why the middle child is the best child:
Many people tend to think the
middle child of the family has it the worst. He or she is neither the
“firstborn” or “baby” of the family so many, including middle children
themselves, tend to view the middle child as getting the least amount of
attention. Numerous studies have been done on how birth order affects
personality, and how parents handle their children differently depending on
age. Some have even gone onto categorize this as “Middle Child Syndrome”, where
this child simply gets forgotten for no reason.
Being a middle child myself, I have
pondered these views and concepts but honestly have had a hard time connecting
to them. Maybe it was just the way I grew up in my particular family, which
very well could be the case. Even when there were times when I had felt an iota
of this “syndrome”, I found it be beneficial rather than disheartening.
Important life lessons were instilled in me and I was and still am able to
learn a lot. I would go even further to say that the middle child has it the best
in the family. Here, in the list below, is some of my reasoning:
Middle Children…
•
Have the perks of having both older and younger
siblings
•
Are Exceptional negotiators
•
Have a strong worth ethic
•
Are peacekeepers
•
Can be independent
Naturally, being the middle child
means that one has both older and younger siblings. I have found this to be one
of the biggest blessings of being a middle child. I have learned much and
appreciated the wisdom I’ve gained from my older brother. I have been able to
watch him go through all of the "firsts" in his life and taken away a
lot away from his experiences. He set forth a great example for which I could
follow. Additionally, having a younger sister, I have learned the importance of
taking on the leader/mentor role for her. We are so similar in many ways, so I
have been able to help her out with the wisdom I’ve gained at various stages of
my life. I like to think that I have the best of both worlds by having both an
older and younger sibling.
Week 2
I had some difficulty when first
reading these prompts. I had trouble recalling a very glaring moment when I
felt on the outside among insiders. After pondering this question for some
time, I decided to look at some of the reasons why I may not have felt like an
outcast due to my upbringing.
I grew up in a suburban town outside of Philly called Blue Bell, a medium sized
town populated with middle to upper class residents. There I attended a small
Catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade. My grade only had 30 kids in
it, so after 9 years of school together, we were more like family rather than
classmates. Most of us lived within five minutes of school; we went out to eat
at the same places, had the same hangout spots, played sports in our township
park, and shared the same inside jokes and slang. We were all so similar but at
the time this was not present- this was just how our world was at the moment.
After grade school, I went on to attend a small private Catholic High school.
Once again, I was surrounded by people just like me. My high school was 90%
white and middle class to upper class. To someone on the outside, we all seemed
to be the same person. And for the most part, we were. Getting picked up from
school on one occasion, my mother said she had a hard time finding me because
“everyone had their hair up in the same long ponytail”. This may seem like an
exaggeration, but honestly it is not far from the truth.
When it came time to choose a college in my senior year, many of my friends
chose to attend small Catholic colleges. They chose to stick to the same path
they’ve been on since grade school. For the first time in my life, I knew I it
was time for a change. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my life and the community I
was raised in up until that point, but it just felt as if I was missing out on
something- that something was diversity. My first week at Drexel was like a
breath of fresh air. I looked different, dressed differently, and spoke
differently than all of the students. Although I found it much harder to
connect with people right away, I enjoyed familiarizing myself with students
from different countries, backgrounds, and ways of life. I was not on the
inside like I had been up to this point in my life. Not everyone was exactly
like me and I loved it.
Some may look upon my upbringing and voice how lucky I was to grow up in an
environment where I always belonged and never struggled being stuck on the
outside. I am indeed very thankful for this and recognize how fortunate I was,
however I feel like by growing up in this environment, I struggled to define my
individuality. I desired change. I craved to be a part of a university where
the individuals are dissimilar and had their own specific niches, but came
together to form a cohesive community. From the start, being a student at
Drexel has opened my eyes to a world that is vastly different than Blue Bell,
Pennsylvania.
It wasn’t until I was on the outside that I understood and appreciated myself
as a distinct individual. Who is Olivia? What makes her different? Although I
still cannot fully realize and answer these questions completely, I am much
more capable of defining to a certain extent what makes me “me”.
Week 3
Interview
Interviewee - My friend Kelly who is a middle child of four
Topic- Being a middle child of a family
Method- Email
Date - 01/30/16
Interview Questions
1. Briefly
describe your experience of being the middle child of your family.
So I am the 2nd child
out of 4 in my family, however the youngest was born 8 years after the third
child so most of my life I have been the third in the family. I’ve always felt
a little bit of disconnect from the way my parents have treated me versus my
siblings. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a neglected child like most people
tend to think middle children are, but I have recognized many times where I
wasn’t receiving as much attention as my older and younger sisters.
2. Do you
believe that there are misconceptions society has about the middle child? If
so, what are they?
Definitely. Like I said in the
previous answer, I think there seems to be a stereotype out there that the
middle child is kind of looked at as like the forgotten child of the family and
doesn’t receive the same amount of attention as the oldest or youngest in the
family. They’re not the first-born or the baby so I think people view the
middle child as being somewhere in the “grey area”.
3. What kind of advantages/disadvantages has
this identity brought you if any?
I think the disadvantages would
be the times where I did feel like I was almost being ignored or my
accomplishments didn’t go as much noticed as those of my siblings. For example,
I’ve played lacrosse my whole life and now go to college on a lacrosse
scholarship. My older sister is a year older than me, and a very good field
hockey player. We were both being looked at by coaches for recruitment
around the same time. When I received an offer from my top choice and my sister
didn’t, I felt like my accomplishment was completely overshadowed by my
parent’s sympathy toward my sister. It seems like they’re have been countless
situations like this where I feel like my successes haven’t been recognized or
appreciated.
But I have also gained some
insight as I’ve gotten older about what I have learned about being a middle
child. I always felt like I had to work so much harder, be a better student, or
a better athlete than my siblings in order to stand out. This instilled in me a
drive and determination that I am actually really grateful for. I know now that
my parents love and appreciate me just as much but that time of being unsure
about myself actually helped me gain qualities that I am proud to have.
4. Do you
think television series and sitcoms tend portray the middle child of the family
in a certain way? Please explain.
I actually haven’t really
thought about this before. However, after thinking about it, I do recognize
some of the stereotypes people have surrounding birth order in the show Modern
Family. Alex Dunphy is the middle child and also the smartest and most well-rounded
child out of her siblings, yet she’s always overshadowed by the shenanigans of
her siblings.
5. Do you
think being the middle child has affected your personality in anyway?
I think it has. I am definitely
the most introverted out of my siblings and I think this could be due to the
fact that I thought I was always being overshadowed. This made me keep a lot of
things to myself and become a lot more independent.
6. Lastly, if you could, would you want to
change your position as middle child? Why?
Four years ago I would have
said yes! I always wished that I were the oldest mostly because of the
attention I saw my older sister always receive. However, these days I am very
content with my spot in my family.
Week 4
Sources for Research Paper
I tried to break each annotated bibliography into a summary,
an evaluation of the text, and a reflection on its applicability to my
research.
1.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/field-guide-families/201210/the-secret-powers-middle-children
Griffin, Lynee. "The Secret Power of Middle
Children." Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 8 Oct. 2012. Web. 2
Feb. 2016.
Summary:
A Family Studies professor who
succinctly presents the misconceptions and preconceived notions about the
middle child writes this article, structured into a question and answer format.
Rather than just typical paragraph
format, the article is broken down into sections discussing different questions,
and highlights the positive aspects of having this position in a family that
aren’t commonly recognized.
The source is useful for providing
advantages about being a middle child, which supports my purpose of the paper
as well as providing some disadvantages that I can also work with. I liked how
it also includes insight on how growing up as a middle child influences
relationships and careers.
2.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heidi-legg/why-america-needs-a-middl_b_8005436.html
Legg, Heidi. "Why America Needs a Middle Child." The
Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 18 Aug. 2015. Web. 02 Feb. 2016.
Summary:
Author and journalist Legg expresses her thoughts about birth order in a family
and describes her particular state as the third of four children in her family.
She reflects on the downsides of her position and gradually shifts into
I found it very interesting that
this article also digs a little into the “middles” in society like income and
the environment. It added a whole new perspective to the concept of being in
the middle.
This article does a great job of
recognizing the common feelings about middle children and then debunks them. I
hope to do something similar in my paper. I particularly was inspired by the
quote “And as I grow older, I have come to appreciate what the middle
represents and why it is vital to a society's well being”.
Salmon, Catherine, and Katrin Schumann. "The Power of
the Middle Child." Drexel Full Text Options. The Times, 6 Aug.
2011. Web. 02 Feb. 2016.
Summary:
This newspaper article
provides research on why it now can be looked at as an advantage to be a middle
child. It touches on family relationships and how birth order is portrayed in
the media.
This source was particularly
useful because it brought me to another pertinent source- a book the authors of
this article wrote called The Secret Powers of the Middle Children.
Additional sources to use:
Week 7 Prompt
You’re over your
grandparent’s house for a family dinner. Your Grandpop has a special connection
with your older brother because he was the first grandchild. Your Grandmom
raves about all the wonderful things your younger sister, the “baby” of the
family, is doing. You feel like sometimes people forget you exist too.
Both your brother and sister come to you arguing over
something looking for you to settle it. You always get stuck solving problems
and arguments between your other siblings. When you give an answer they don’t
like, you are isolated from both of them. You have to learn to find
creative solutions in order to keep both of them happy.
You are accustomed to getting “hand-me-downs” from your
older sibling. You are so used to it that getting something brand new feels
rare. Somehow, every time you got around to handing them down to the baby, it
was time to go shopping. You are annoyed at how unfair it seems.
When the oldest graduated from high school, it was a huge
deal with a big party throw in celebration. When the youngest graduated, it was
equally as dramatic, “an end of an era”, my parents would say. When you
graduated, it was just another ceremony to attend, and having a party was not
definite.
You are not the introverted genius of the family like your
older brother, but also not the charismatic, outgoing athlete of the family
like your sister. You lacked an automatic identity, so you had to figure out
your own.
Week 7.5 Prompt
I. Reverse Outline
A. Opening Paragraph
1.
The first paragraph of this essay presents the concept of being
a middle child and some of my personal thoughts about the identity.
2.
It starts to
bring up some of the common misconceptions about being a middle child as well
as introducing the concept that there is an alternative side to the stereotype.
B. First Body Paragraph
1.
This paragraph
goes into detail about the common misconceptions about middle children.
2.
The first
source is introduced, and the interview I did is used to support my own claims
and as well as the information provided from the source.
C. Second Body Paragraph
1.
The
psychological effects middle children face due to their birth order is
presented in addition to how this affects personality. This paragraph looks
more into the mental and emotional effects middle children can face.
2. Excerpts from my interview as are used to support the
research.
D. Third Body Paragraph
1.
This paragraph
talks about how the media such as television shows portray middle child
characters. Multiple examples of TV shows are used to show a pattern of how
writers tend to depict characters, many times in a negative light.
E. Fourth Body Paragraph
1.
The final
paragraph introduces the concept that contrary to popular belief, the middle
child has a very beneficial birth order.
2.
It explains
many advantages that middle children gain from being in the middle.
F. Closing
1.
The last paragraph ties to together the misconceptions and
benefits about middle children. It briefly touches on my thoughts on being a
middle child again.
I think I have a pretty clear direction of where I want
my paper to go- I overall move from the negative misconceptions about middle
children to the beneficial and advantageous aspects of having this particular
birth order. However, since I want to focus more on the advantageous aspects, I
think I need to either add another paragraph dealing with concept or just
expand upon the one I already have. I think I have a good balance of sources
and the interview in the paper, but I think something that is really lacking
overall in my essay is personal experience. I want to weave more of my own
experience of being a middle child into the paper.
Week 8
The structure of my essay flows from
common misconceptions and difficulties middle child face into a new
perspective on the advantageous aspects of being a
“middle”. However, since I want to focus more on the beneficial
aspects, I decided that I needed to either add another paragraph dealing with
this concept or just expand upon the one I already have. In addition to working
on this, a crucial element that was really lacking in my essay was a steady
trail of personal experience. Here are some anecdotes of experiences that I
added (bolded):
The middle child is neither the “firstborn” or the “baby” of the
family so many, including middle children themselves, are inclined to view the
middle child as having it the hardest. Middle children often face a multitude
of stereotypes: confused underachievers, always outshined by their siblings,
and snubbed by their parents. I was the middle child who was accustomed to
getting “hand-me-downs” from my older sibling-so used to it that getting
something brand new felt rare. But somehow, every time we got around to handing
them down to my younger sister “the baby”, it was time to go shopping again.
It is due to a accumulation of instances like such that so many middle children
feel out of place or “feel like they don’t belong—in other words, that they suffer
from “Middle Child Syndrome” as Katrin Schumann, co-author of The Secret
Power of Middle Children explains (Griffin). In an interview held with my
longtime friend and fellow middle child Kelly Pizzirani, Kelly sanctions having
the Middle Child Syndrome that Schumann talks about when she states, “I’ve
always felt a little bit of disconnect from the way my parents have treated me
versus my siblings…I have recognized many times where I wasn’t receiving as
much attention” (Kelly).
Attention seems to be a primary disadvantage “middles” have a
problem with and I know that I dealt with this dilemma firsthand when my
younger sister, Adela was first born. There was an evident attention shift I
felt going from being the youngest and first girl of the family to a middle
child with a younger sister. Frustrated and confused by the less attention I
was receiving, I resulted to boisterous actions and dramatic ways in desperate
hope to win it back. Putting on one-man shows for my mom and running
around the house singing songs I made up on the spot became a daily occurrence.
Because of the thirst for attention middles desire, studies show that there are
some psychological challenges middle children face in relation to having this
birth order. In a psychological research study on birth order, Professor
Srivastava identifies “ordinal position is associated with disparities in
parental investment, which can lead to differences in behavior, health, and
mortality” (Srivastava). Some of these differences in behavior include acting
out often, having low self-esteem, and being more introverted than one’s
siblings.
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