Interviewee - My friend Kelly who is a middle child of four

Topic- Being a middle child of a family

Method- Email

Date -  01/30/16

Interview Questions

1.      Briefly describe your experience of being the middle child of your family.

So I am the 2^nd child out of 4 in my family, however the youngest was born 8 years after the third child so most of my life I have been the third in the family. I’ve always felt a little bit of disconnect from the way my parents have treated me versus my siblings. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a neglected child like most people tend to think middle children are, but I have recognized many times where I wasn’t receiving as much attention as my older and younger sisters.

2.    Do you believe that there are misconceptions society has about the middle child? If so, what are they?

Definitely. Like I said in the previous answer, I think there seems to be a stereotype out there that the middle child is kind of looked at as like the forgotten child of the family and doesn’t receive the same amount of attention as the oldest or youngest in the family. They’re not the first-born or the baby so I think people view the middle child as being somewhere in the “grey area”. 

3.    What kind of advantages/disadvantages has this identity brought you if any?

I think the disadvantages would be the times where I did feel like I was almost being ignored or my accomplishments didn’t go as much noticed as those of my siblings. For example, I’ve played lacrosse my whole life and now go to college on a lacrosse scholarship. My older sister is a year older than me, and a very good field hockey player.  We were both being looked at by coaches for recruitment around the same time. When I received an offer from my top choice and my sister didn’t, I felt like my accomplishment was completely overshadowed by my parent’s sympathy toward my sister. It seems like they’re have been countless situations like this where I feel like my successes haven’t been recognized or appreciated.

But I have also gained some insight as I’ve gotten older about what I have learned about being a middle child. I always felt like I had to work so much harder, be a better student, or a better athlete than my siblings in order to stand out. This instilled in me a drive and determination that I am actually really grateful for. I know now that my parents love and appreciate me just as much but that time of being unsure about myself actually helped me gain qualities that I am proud to have.

4.    Do you think television series and sitcoms tend portray the middle child of the family in a certain way? Please explain.

I actually haven’t really thought about this before. However, after thinking about it, I do recognize some of the stereotypes people have surrounding birth order in the show Modern Family. Alex Dunphy is the middle child and also the smartest and most well-rounded child out of her siblings, yet she’s always overshadowed by the shenanigans of her siblings.

5.    Do you think being the middle child has affected your personality in anyway?

I think it has. I am definitely the most introverted out of my siblings and I think this could be due to the fact that I thought I was always being overshadowed. This made me keep a lot of things to myself and become a lot more independent.

6.    Lastly, if you could, would you want to change your position as middle child? Why?

             Four years ago I would have said yes! I always wished that I were the oldest mostly because of the attention I saw my older sister always receive. However, these days I am very content with my spot in my family.